My son was booked on a flight home from visitation with his mom this past Friday.
After a series of unrelated texts, I realized my son was not enroute and on a layover, but was instead still at his mom’s house. Packed and ready to go.
My ex apologized for the oversight (looking at the departure time from the layover city instead of origination city) and I started the rebooking process.
Fortunately, American Airlines quickly rebooked him for the following day and I did not have to pay any additional fees. He arrived safely on Saturday evening.
How would you have reacted in this situation? What would you have texted or emailed to your ex?
Within moments of finding out my son would not be home Friday evening, I cycled through several emotions, but once I caught my breath, the logical side of me kicked in and I went into problem-solving mode. How do I explain this to the airline? Will I need to use more miles/pay a fee? What if he cannot get home until Sunday or Monday with all the holiday travel?
The emotional response quickly gave way to problem-solving.
Unless your ex habitually violates custody agreements (in which case you should reach out to your parenting coordinator, lawyer, therapist…whoever can help remedy the behavior), it is best to go through your emotional response before unloading on your ex. Doing so would only add to the stress for you and your kid.
For the occasional hiccup, remember parenting (and co-parenting) is a marathon and showing some flexibility will diffuse a bad situation rather than escalate it.
Again, if your ex has a habit of doing this or does so with malice or no remorse, I would recommend seeking outside counsel to correct the behavior rather than go it alone and risking an emotional escalation with no custodial resolution.
Has your ex accidentally or deliberately violated your custody agreement? What have you found to be the best way to approach these situations?