My son expressed feelings somewhere between moderate interest and apathy regarding our move this week into a permanent home. Just spitballing here, but maybe it is because he has already lived at five different addresses since my ex and I separated – and I am not counting the moves associated with my ex.
In all fairness, two of the addresses were our married home and the place I lived during our separation. Then we lived in a rental for three years until we had a burglary/arson and had to move. We had another rental for just over a year until I got remarried and we moved in with my wife and her kids.
Now, we finally have a home and do not have another move on the horizon.
So, why does my son express such ambivalence? He is getting his own room and we are close to hiking trails…he should be overjoyed!!
I followed my own advice and asked him. Here is what he said:
- We’ve moved so many times, I just can’t get excited. Honestly, I hear what he is saying – I am just as sick of packing up boxes, not being able to find things, and taking apart Ikea beds. Before, we moved out of necessity, but now we actually have a permanent home and it still is not enough to get him super excited. Ho
- And I’ve moved with mom, too. Makes sense to me.
- But at least I’ll have my own room. I know he and the youngest stepbrother enjoy their time together, but having his own room will make a difference.
- Can I go now? This just made me laugh.
As single dads, we may not have a choice but to move more than we want. A landlord may decide to sell your place, you may move for a job, or some criminal may set your house of fire (I sincerely hope that never happens to you…it sucks).
But whatever the circumstance, give your kids an extra dose of empathy…even though they do not have to take apart and rebuild their Ikea bed.