“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .’” – C.S. Lewis
I’ve been thinking about this project for a long time. Putting words to paper (or characters to word processor) has never been difficult for me, but in this instance it has been met with resistance every step of the way.
Partly because of my failures:
I failed my marriage.
I failed my son.
I failed in my parenting.
I failed my own convictions.
I fail to see why I have any right to write any words about what I’m endeavoring to do.
However, failure (depending on how one handles it) brings a level of qualification to talk about a matter. In my case, recognizing circumstances for what they are and actively seeking answers, wisdom, therapy, and community to move forward as a full-time, single dad.
Also, through a great community of support, I discovered my failures aren’t much different than those others have experienced. No two stories are alike, but the similarities are shocking if you risk having the conversation.
I do not have sole custody of my son, but I do have residential custody during the school year. As a professional, I have joined the ranks of countless women and men who have juggled work and home without the consistent aid of any partner. And in many respects I have it easy – I just have one son…not two or three or more. Plus, when he goes to visit my ex-wife on several occasions during the year, including an eight-week stint during the summer, I have the opportunity to catch my breath even though I miss him dearly.
To a certain extent, the name of this blog doesn’t even reflect my reality. I’m not really a “full-time” single dad by strict definition. But I’ve discovered most circumstances vary wildly with no two of my friends having the same situation in their full-time or part-time single parenting.
So, what do I hope to accomplish with this blog?
- I want to help dads, like me, who weren’t sure where to turn when life hit them square in the face.
- I want to provide helpful content to dads who have become the primary parent to their kid(s).
- I want to share lessons I’ve learned and mistakes I’ve made.
- I want to connect us with others who have expertise to share from their own experience or their professional life.
- I want to be surprised by what could happen next.
One of the heroes of my faith is C.S. Lewis. He said “Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .’”
The fact is we’re all is this together and have so much to learn from each other. I look forward to the journey, friend, and can’t wait to see where it leads us.