Mother’s Day Without Mom

Yesterday morning, my stepsons woke up early (by 10 minutes) and I took the early shift with the puppies so my wife could sleep in.

The boys whipped up eggs, bacon and toast.  I made her favorite morning beverage…my pour over coffee with a splash of heavy cream.

Photo Credit: Aes D via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Aes D via Compfight cc

My son watched all the activity.

My stepsons loaded up the TV tray and, along with my son, brought breakfast in bed to my wife.

I closely watched my son during the joyous interaction between the boys and their mom.  His face betrayed his sadness as he watched kids with their mom, knowing his was over 1,700 miles away.

He quietly slipped out of the room and I followed.

As I held on to him, I asked if watching his stepbrothers serve their mom breakfast in bed made him sad.

“A little.”

I’m no expert, but he may have underestimated.

I hugged him, affirmed how he felt, and reminded him he could celebrate Mother’s Day on Father’s Day since it falls during his summer visitation with his mom.

People say kids are resilient.  Yes, divorce hurts, but they adapt and adjust.

I partially agree.

My son (and even my stepsons) demonstrate great resilience, but the sense of loss never completely disappears.

I am reminded about my sense of loss when my son misses milestones with me and must remember he has those same feelings about his mom.  The gift I can give him on Mother’s Day is the acknowledgment of his hurt and the assurance he is loved…by both of us.

How do your kids react when they miss a significant holiday or event with their mom?

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